Hope in the Wasteland

Thirty mile-per-hour winds assaulted the side of my Tacoma and the attached twelve-foot trailer shook and shuddered. I was now on my third attempt to tie down the tarp that covered several totes in the bed of my truck. There wasn’t anything special in these totes. They contained few memories; just totes that bore a semblance of a life I soon had to forget. I left several unimportant things—and one woman I loved and treasured more than life itself back on the east coast where the waves still lightly slapped the sandy beaches. I prayed a short prayer as I secured the tarp and climbed back into the cab. I wanted those memories to join the waves and disappear into the abyss as they receded back into the ocean. A salty tear, finding its comradery with the sea, grabbed just one of those memories, traversed my cheek, dropped into the fabric of my shirt, and disappeared. I gazed out over the barren prairie of Oklahoma and whispered to myself—and to God, “I’m so broken; I’m so empty!” 

I convinced myself that nothing good could come from my current situation. I felt as if my heart and my soul would be destroyed in a wasteland of grief. My mind spiraled again. I reached out as if to grasp the thought before it entered the barren depths of my soul. I chose to recognize it and release it back into the uninhabited grasslands as they rolled to the horizon. Pressing my ignition, I settled back into the present, shifted the transmission into drive, and continued toward Colorado. Another thought passed before my mind’s eye and I reached for it again. Only this time, I embraced it. The thought wasn’t as tangible as the last one, but it was pure and unadulterated—which was completely juxtaposed to the thought I had just previously released into the barren wastelands of Oklahoma. It was hope. I was returning to those who loved me—all to which I had neglected and abandoned—my God, my children, and my friends. I would have to ask for forgiveness. I would have to make amends. However, it would all be worth it to embrace the hope and joy that exists in God’s presence and the hearts of those who truly love me. There was hope that from out of the wasteland of betrayal, humiliation, abuse, and heartbreak, God would bring forth life and joy and redemption. I still couldn’t smile, but I felt the warmth of God’s love and I heard God’s whisper mingling within the Oklahoma wind, “I see you! I’m here, and I never left!” I knew then and there that God would do great things within me. I knew that God loved me, but more than that, God wanted me to act upon my calling and engage my purpose. That out of this wasteland in which I now dwelt, God would bring forth life, sustenance, and salvation—and I would respond to that with action and purpose. 

When we encounter the birth of Samson in Judges 13, the Israelites are cycling back into another forty-year wilderness experience. This time, under the oppression and abuse of the Philistines. Just when you think God has abandoned the people God loves, a woman—unable to bear children—encounters an angel. Where have we read this before? Samson’s mother, Sarah, Hannah, Elizabeth, and even Mary have angelic encounters where God promises them that life will spring forth from their barren or virgin wombs. Out of this emptiness, God doesn’t just love and care for the broken—God creates life, God redeems and fulfills promise—and we respond with action and purpose. From Sarah, the people of Israel—through which the redemption of humanity comes. Hannah is the mother of the prophet Samuel who anoints King David—the bloodline of Christ. Elizabeth gives birth to John the Baptist—the predecessor of Jesus. And from the virgin womb of Mary, God delivers and redeems humanity with his only son, Jesus Christ. Even in Judges, God delivers his people from forty years of trauma, tyranny, and oppression through the deliverer Samson—a baby born from a barren womb. Time and time again, salvation and new life springs forth from a wasteland of hopelessness. But it doesn’t stop there. God’s providence isn’t passive. Isaac, Samuel, Samson, John the Baptist, and Jesus actively participated in God’s redemption. And we must too. 

I’m not out of the wasteland yet. I have a long way to go. I have made amends and those who love me have forgiven me. God sees me, is with me, and never left me. My journey toward redemption has just begun, but there is hope. Thich Nhat Hanh writes, “Hope is important because it can make the present moment less difficult to bear. If we believe that tomorrow will be better, we can bear a hardship today.” I have hope in a God who delivers us out of the wasteland into a world of life and redemption. I have hope that God will deliver ME! But the hope needs to be accompanied with action. I can’t simply dwell in the contemplation of hope and respond to God’s sustenance with passivity. I must act, have mercy on others who are experiencing their own pains, seek justice for those who are oppressed, and humbly walk with my God. Since I quoted him before, I’ll finish with another Thich Nhat Hanh quote…one of my favorites:

“The source of love is deep in us and we can help others realize a lot of happiness. One word, one action, one thought can reduce another person’s suffering and bring that person joy.”