Social media is toxic. What people present to the rest of the world through social media is typically a fabrication of their reality. They present a picture-perfect life where—through the use of filters their skin is free from flaws, their teeth are white, their joy is everlasting, and they are indubitably happy with their current situation. Most of us know this is all ridiculously false, yet many of us still succumb to its seduction. The illusion that with the right look, the right body, the right relationship, and the right job, we will be happy. It’s BULL!

As of late, I have unfortunately spent an exorbitant amount of time reflecting on the past eight years of my life. My mother got sick. I fell in love. I married for the second time. My mother died. I raised four teenagers and released them into the wilderness of adulthood. I had a lot of fun and I enjoyed those years of my life—I don’t regret them even though hindsight has provided clarity into the disfunction. Now I’m going through another painful divorce. I’m supposed to be practicing mindfulness and meditate on the present rather than the past. As exhausting as it is, I do find mindfulness helpful. Within that process, I have discovered that the pursuit of personal satisfaction and the illusion of happiness in exchange for God’s purpose can be detrimental to your own growth. Because being happy or being satisfied isn’t something we can obtain. As Anthony de Mello writes, “Happiness is our natural state. Happiness is the natural state of little children, to whom the kingdom belongs until they have been polluted and contaminated by the stupidity of society and culture. To acquire happiness you don’t have to do anything, because happiness cannot be acquired.” 

We are all under the delusion that the right relationship will make us happy, or we will be satisfied once we have the right career or live in the right house in the perfect location. These things are great and I don’t want to suggest that we shouldn’t have meaningful relationships or live in nice houses with mountain views. However, when we sacrifice our relationship with God to satisfy those appetites, it is detrimental to our spiritual, mental, and physical health. The truth that has revealed itself through the practice of meditation and mindfulness, is that no matter how far I wandered away from God and God’s purpose for my life, God never left. God’s grace remained!

Judges 14 is an interesting chapter in the Bible. Samson is now an adult and he has truly stepped out of God’s purpose. He believes that he will obtain happiness by satisfying his primal appetites. He demands a Philistine woman, he eats honey from the carcass of a lion, and he murders others to avenge those who have bruised his pride. Samson is a loose cannon aboard a shifting ship. He continues to skirt his responsibilities as a Nazarite and doesn’t seem to care about God’s purpose for his life. Yet we continue to see “the Spirit of the Lord [come] powerfully upon him” (Judges 14:6, 19; 15:14). Samson willfully sinned, failed morally, and placed his own selfish desires above God’s will and purpose for his life, and yet God never abandoned him. God’s grace remained!

I can’t begin to express how grateful I am to this fact. No matter how far I have ventured away from God’s presence, purpose, and providence over the past eight years, God’s grace remained. No matter how filtered, fake, and fabricated our lives get, God’s grace remains. 

Samson was seeking happiness and fulfillment from outside sources. God’s grace is a lot like happiness. It isn’t something we can acquire. It is with us—past, present, and future. It is our natural state!